All good things must come to an end...

It's been a pretty unbelievable week. And not in the good way. Make that two weeks. I've discovered somebody I trusted more than any other on this planet was lying to me, no little ones either, but big life changing can't believe they were that good at it con-artist type of lies. For the most part I am moving on with my life without them in it and feel in some respects a little better off. Then I have these profound moments of shock, then sadness, then disbelief, then lonliness. Being lonely has got to be one of the worst feelings of all time. maybe just for me, because that much time left to my own thoughts is never a good thing;) When you have cared for someone so passionately and intensely for so long, and then the object of that affection, adoration the thing that received all this caring you have to give, when the recipeient is gone and you no longer have a place for all that to go, what do you do? It's something I haven't ever really known to this extent before. But its a little bewildering. A little lonely. And I feel a little like I am operating without my right arm or something, I guess those moments where I feel sad about the whole situation is like phantom limb pain...you know its not there, you accept its not there, and life is going on without it there, yet sometimes you feel it there like its real only to look down and see that its not....I'll be happy when that sensation fades. I still resolve to love better, lover without expectations and recieve love around me. I feel in my life I have missed out on true love, of all kinds, because I have so wanted a certain kind. I am not doing that anymore.